Due to a booking conflict with the Red Rose Restaurant , the January meeting is cancelled and we have to change the monthly meetings for February 2016 through July 2016 to the 2nd Tuesday of the month. For the months of August…
For some the sound of silence is a welcome, albeit rare, experience that offers a respite from the usual chaos of daily life. With personal technology and screens interrupting at a moment’s notice, it can be a real challenge to experience a decent amount of silence each day (unless you substitute it with a little Simon and Garfunkel playing in the background, of course). Yet for others, silence is not welcome at all. In fact, it is during the silence when some people feel the most uncomfortable.
Aside from the usual stresses of law school, for some students the residue of past trauma can emerge. Here is a link to our recent Q&A column about that dilemma, as published in the December 2015 issue of MBA Lawyers Journal.…
Every year I make the same resolution. My resolution is to not make any resolutions this year. And every year, I break my resolution simply by making it. This is my way of taking away the guilt or pressure of making lofty goals that will most likely be broken sometime in the near future. This is our human nature: we get excited about change, start to make a change, realize that change actually takes hard work, get discouraged by that requirement, start failing in our efforts, and then stop making progress entirely. This is why so many people buy gym memberships at the start of the year and then stop using them entirely in March. This is also why gyms do not expand their space due to the influx of new members at the beginning of the year. They know that the numbers will decrease rapidly.
(Originally posted on 12/23/14)
When you ask people what the holiday season means to them, you will probably get as many answers as the people you asked. For some, the holiday season brings up memories (some good, some bad, some ugly, some they hope one day to repress) of years past that they either wish or fear could be repeated each year. It can be difficult to know what to expect and how to prepare. I find it easy to feel overwhelmed and distracted by the bombardment of messages about the holidays (you should feel happy, you should spend time with family, you should throw parties, you should buy lots of stuff, you should make resolutions, you should or shouldn’t eat lots of sweets, you should compete with your neighbor for the most electricity used to light the exterior of your dwelling, etc.). By this time in the season, I’m tempted to start dreaming of life on a deserted island.
(Originally posted on 12/9/14)
The change in the season means many different things to different people. When the season changes from autumn to winter (at least in regions where there is distinct variation between seasons), some people are excited about the holidays, winter fashion, and outdoor winter activities (think of your friendly neighborhood skiers, snowboarders, Santa impersonators). For others, the change in season is met with dread (lower amounts of energy, mood fluctuations, pessimism). While many people are negatively impacted by the colder seasons, there is a percentage of individuals who are affected to a significant degree, those who meet the criteria for Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). SAD occurs when the change of season produces depressed mood, low energy, irritability, change in sleep patterns, change in appetite, diminished concentration, and low motivation.
My latest Q&A column in Massachusetts Lawyers Journal gets into the options for various kinds of career coaching that may be helpful when your career course takes an unexpected detour. Jeff Fortgang, PhD
(Originally posted on 11/25/14)
The holiday season is upon us and it is a good time to review some helpful tips about avoiding pitfalls and setting yourself up for success this time of year. The trifecta, as it is often called (Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s), is historically a more challenging time of year for many of us. If the holiday season represents happy times with family and friends; then that’s great, enjoy. For many of us, this time of year brings with it social engagements with friends and family members that often include potentially risky, if not just uncomfortable, situations where your resolve is tested. It should come as no surprise to anyone that there is a higher likelihood of being offered, gifted, or simply being in the presence of more alcohol and substances over the holiday season. Here are some helpful tips to keep in mind as you make holiday plans. The tip that underlies all of the rest is, “Plan ahead!” As the saying goes, “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”
As we have discussed previously in posts (Tip #1, Tip #2, and Tip #3), anxiety attempts to gain control over you by suggesting a feared future outcome. The more you try to prevent that feared outcome from occurring, the more anxiety grows and the less control you feel. The desire to live a life free of problems or mistakes is not a bad desire in and of itself. The problem starts when we begin to believe that we need our lives to be problem/mistake-free in order to have an enjoyable life. To be blunt, this is a lie.
The suggestion to fake it until you make it is one that has been used for many situations over the years. Many people have strong reactions to the suggestion, either they hate the idea because it seems disingenuous and an admission of inadequacy, or they love it because it helped them get over a barrier of doubt and allowed them to persevere. In many ways, whether you love it or hate it, your opinion of “fake it ‘til you make it” is usually influenced by what the suggestion symbolizes to you.