Practicing law involves a lot of stress. Practicing law while managing a law practice involves even more. Solo|Stress Connection is an online discussion and support group designed for solo and small firm lawyers to address their unique causes of stress…
There is probably no better example of acting before you feel like it than the concept of bravery. By definition, bravery requires one to act in the face of fear, not the absence of it. We can often misuse bravery to imply that someone does not experience fear in a situation (“Look at her, she’s so confident and brave. Nothing rattles her.”). When we misuse the word bravery we can inadvertently tell ourselves that being brave requires a sense of unflappable confidence. Bravery suddenly seems at odds with doubt and fear. Quite the contrary, bravery is acting despite our doubt and fear.
“I feel ready. Now I can act.” The order of those phrases sounds logical. First you feel ready and then you act on that feeling. No obvious controversy there. Yet some of the common phrases we toss around in everyday conversation are not only inaccurate, but they also negatively affect our abilities to accomplish what we desire. This is often used in terms of assessing our motivation to do something difficult. In this example, waiting to feel motivated (or ready) will most often prevent you from accomplishing something that you never knew was possible. In fact reversing the order of those original ideas is often more accurate and advantageous. I decide to act and then I notice my feelings changing.
Most often when people hear the word “networking” they think of a means for ultimately getting a job or getting clients. In the current legal industry, networking is an essential part of marketing your legal services, gaining connections for future job opportunities, and strengthening your brand. It is rare these days to hear of someone who got a job by simply sending in a resume cold, without having any connection to anyone involved in the process. Unfortunately for many, networking is also one of those activities that elicits much anxiety and increases a sense of vulnerability. One reason why networking is uncomfortable for so many is the fact that often times the power to achieve the goal of networking is in someone else’s control. For example, if my goal is to get a job, then by definition I am relying on someone else to provide that job opportunity. And before you say, “Thank you, Captain Obvious for that insight” allow me to suggest an alternative.
In a productive and fast paced culture, a premium is placed on working hard and getting things done. So much so, that sleep can be seen as a liability. It is talked about as a badge of honor if someone regularly works 7 days a week or puts in 80-100 hours a week. Rarely do you hear someone brag about how they got all their work done in half the time and took a well-deserved nap. The conflict between valuing work and seeing sleep as a liability can be illustrated in the tempting proposition: Would you give up half of what you owned in order to be able to have the ability to be fully rested with only one hour of sleep each night?
As an LCL employee (since 1998!) it may be presumptuous of me to commend LCL on behalf of our clients, but a recent encounter with another profession’s assistance program has renewed my appreciation of our program for lawyers.
It has often been noted that law schools provide little preparation for the nitty gritty of real-life practice. Over the years, I have met individually at LCL with so many new lawyers who are losing sleep and feeling tied up in knots as they do their best to handle their work competently.
No one wants to feel frustrated. It’s annoying, painful, and …well, frustrating. One of the common qualities that all humans have is that we are all compelled by two basic motivations; we want to avoid pain and pursue pleasure. Despite the desire to live a pain-free life, pain is necessary and helpful. One example of this is how frustration can lead to positive change. On a small scale, everything we have learned in life is due to the frustration or discomfort of not knowing something or not being able to do something we wanted to do. From our earliest days we learn to walk and talk because we get frustrated that we cannot communicate effectively to get what we want and we cannot move ourselves efficiently across the floor. So frustration is necessary.
The change in the season means many different things to different people. When the season changes from autumn to winter (at least in regions where there is distinct variation between seasons), some people are excited about the holidays, winter fashion, and outdoor winter activities (think of your friendly neighborhood skiers, snowboarders, Santa impersonators). For others, the change in season is met with dread (lower amounts of energy, mood fluctuations, pessimism). While many people are negatively impacted by the colder seasons, there is a percentage of individuals who are affected to a significant degree, those who meet the criteria for Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). SAD occurs when the change of season produces depressed mood, low energy, irritability, change in sleep patterns, change in appetite, diminished concentration, and low motivation.
Divorce is always found at the top of the list of major life changes that cause significant stress, second only to the death of a spouse. Many people going through a divorce for the first time can often be taken off-guard by the overarching impact that it has on their daily life. Divorce impacts every area of one’s personal life (social supports, activities, relationships with mutual friends), affects one’s professional functioning (takes away time and resources that you would normally be spending on client matters), and produces long lasting mental and emotional changes (can produce a sense of shame, questions about the future, and elicit hopelessness and anxiety).