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Perfection is not your friend

Let’s be honest, everyone would like to be perfect at what they do. After all, if you were perfect, no one could ever criticize you for anything. And let the honesty continue, we all hate being criticized and judged. It just doesn’t feel good. But I assure you, you too can survive criticism (even harsh criticism). The first place to start is to reject the idea that you need to be perfect. You don’t. You’re not. No one is. And somehow we all find a way to go on surviving despite lacking perfection.

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Increase your resilience and reject scapegoating

Resilience is the ability to adapt and learn from any situation you encounter. Often it is described as the ability to thrive despite the barriers life throws at you. There are many ways of increasing one’s resilience (for example: here, here, and here are previous posts that address this). One common temptation that we all have to reduce tension, which prevents us from developing resilience, is the tendency to blame or find a scapegoat. Scapegoating makes us feel good because it removes the tension we feel that is caused by realizing that we need to make changes to what we are doing. Taking responsibility for our actions or our contributions to a situation often feels vulnerable. Blaming others makes us feel safe in the short term, but in fact it only perpetuates the lack of learning and growth. You cannot learn from a situation and develop resilience by avoiding the discomfort.

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The Importance of Sleep

It might be obvious to say, but sleep is really important. No, really. It’s really important. We all know that it is important to get a good night’s sleep, yet most of us do not get adequate sleep at night. The average adult needs 7-9 hours of sleep each night. This, by the way, does not count the minutes/hours spent lying in bed awake, reading, thinking about your day, making to-do lists, etc. I have often had the thought, “Wouldn’t it be great if I only needed an hour of sleep a night? I could be so productive!” This mentality frames sleep as a barrier to productivity. The reality is, adequate sleep is what allows us to be productive in the first place.

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Respect is not a commodity; Respect is a character quality

How can I respect someone who doesn’t respect me? How can I be respectful toward someone who is being aggressive or rude toward me? These are common questions many of us ask when we are faced with the challenge of interacting with people who are not following the Golden Rule. Whether you are 45 or 16, it can be difficult to show someone respect when the other person is doing anything but (whether that be your parent, your child, a supervisor, or opposing counsel).

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