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Balancing Work & Family

The Secret to Navigating Hot Topic Conversations

The holiday season is not unique in terms of the various hot topic conversations that often come up between friends and family members. However, this season may provide more opportunity for such discussions given the nature of getting together with people you may not see on a regular basis and therefore having less of a track record with said people in terms of successfully discussing difficult topics without ending in a knock-down-drag-out brawl that embarrasses Aunt Shirley’s sensibilities. Popular topics that ruin family events include such classics as politics, world events, religion, sex, and of course the ever-controversial issue of whether a food can be considered a side dish if it has marshmallows on top. Don’t get me started.

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Holiday Success = Managing Expectations

When you ask people what the holiday season means to them, you will probably get as many answers as the people you asked. For some, the holiday season brings up memories (some good, some bad, some ugly, some they hope one day to repress) of years past that they either wish or fear could be repeated each year. It can be difficult to know what to expect and how to prepare. I find it easy to feel overwhelmed and distracted by the bombardment of messages about the holidays (you should feel happy, you should spend time with family, you should throw parties, you should buy lots of stuff, you should make resolutions, you should or shouldn’t eat lots of sweets, you should compete with your neighbor for the most electricity used to light the exterior of your dwelling, etc.). By this time in the season, I’m tempted to start dreaming of life on a deserted island.

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Getting Through the Holidays – Maintaining Sobriety

The holiday season is upon us and it is a good time to review some helpful tips about avoiding pitfalls and setting yourself up for success this time of year. The trifecta, as it is often called (Thanksgiving, Hanukkah-Christmas-Kwanzaa-Festivus, and New Year’s), is historically a more challenging time of year for many of us.

If the holiday season represents happy times with family and friends, then enjoy! But understand that even with joyful associations, challenges may manifest and test your resilience.

You can get tools and practical approaches to navigate the season’s challenges from our panel at the MBA on Dec. 12; find out more, submit anonymous questions, and register here. For many of us, this time of year brings with it social engagements with friends and family members that often include potentially risky, if not just uncomfortable, situations where your resolve is tested, whether to abstain from alcohol or even just negative thought patterns.

It should come as no surprise to anyone that there is a higher likelihood of being offered, gifted, or simply being in the presence of more alcohol and substances over the holiday season. Here are some helpful tips to keep in mind as you make holiday plans. The tip that underlies all of the rest is, “Plan ahead!” As the saying goes, “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”

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Defining Lawyer Well-Being

Recently a comprehensive report was published by the ABA titled “The Path to Lawyer Well-Being: Practical Recommendations for Positive Change” (find the full text here). Within its pages you will find numerous recommendations for how to increase the well-being of the legal community from multiple sources (law schools, judges, attorney regulators, bar associations, employers, etc.). The report starts, as any report on well-being should start, with the definition of lawyer well-being.

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A Little Ambiguity Can Help You Go a Long Way

Despite the widely held belief that standing firm in your positions is a sign of strength (the image of certainty, confidence, and success), strategically embracing ambiguity can be the secret to overcoming seemingly insurmountable obstacles. Specifically, the way we think about our circumstances and the potential future outcomes of our efforts can be greatly aided by keeping an open mind about various possibilities. Instead of relying on the certainty of having only one path to arrive at your goal, embrace the options of a network of paths that will increase your chances of arriving at your desired destination.

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ABA Report on the Path to Lawyer Well-Being

In recent months, there has been an increase in the discussions of the high rates of substance abuse and mental health issues burdening lawyers, rates much higher than the general population. A recent study has confirmed what many of us…

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Exercise (a little) Control Amid the Chaos

We all have times in our lives when things feel chaotic; when it feels like everything that is important in our lives is outside of our control and we cannot improve our plight. The typical reaction to this situation is to exert more effort directed at changing things that are outside of our control, followed by an increase in our stress. Obviously, this is an ineffective strategy, yet it is one that we almost instinctively attempt. So instead of running on that hamster wheel, what else can you do?

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Don’t Go It Alone (You Never Have)

In our world of individual achievements and the importance of a stellar reputation, it is easy to fall into the trap of believing that you need to do things on your own. Be independent. Handle it yourself. Take care of business on your own. Make it happen. And the pep talk continues. The truth of the matter is that none of us have learned to do anything in a vacuum. We all have needed and benefited from the support of others. Whether it was learning to talk and walk when we were wee ones or learning to make a compelling oral argument, we did it with the help of many people in our lives.

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What if your “Power Hour” is during off-work hours?

One of the helpful strategies to improve your productivity and reduce procrastination is to effectively use your “power hour”. The power hour is the time of day (which could actually be multiple hours) that you feel the most energy, the most focus, and can be the most productive. The idea of using your power hour is to identify when it is and plan to work on the most difficult tasks of the day during that time. This works out the best when your power hour is at the beginning of your day so that you can ride the wave of productivity the rest of your workday. But what is one to do when their power hour is at the end of their workday? Or even worse, what if it is during off-work hours?

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Thinking beyond the Zero-sum Game

In game theory, a zero-sum game is the situation in which one person’s gain is equal and opposite to their opponent’s loss. For one to win or advance, the other must lose or retreat. There are situations in life where the zero-sum game is undeniable. These typically have to do with dividing up commodities (money, time, property, etc.). However, most problems in life have less to do with commodities and more to do with what those commodities represent. Hence thinking beyond the zero-sum game can be one of the most power tools to resolving conflicts.

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